urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny Theresa Theresa 2003-11-19T02:56:43Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:83151 2003-11-19T02:56:43Z 2003-11-19T02:56:43Z 3EB - My Hit and Run <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_celluloid_tears' lj:user='celluloid_tears' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://celluloid-tears.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://celluloid-tears.livejournal.com/'><b>celluloid_tears</b></a></span> uh... yeh... I dunno.. I maay still use this one sometimes, but i doubt it... Not deleting it, jsut not using it... *shrug* add me if you want. <br /><br /><br /><br />&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:82864 2003-11-18T00:13:01Z 2003-11-18T00:13:01Z Bright eyes... why? *sigh* The past few weeks have really sucked... Nothing all that good has happened, and it's starting to get to me. It's like, every time something good happens, something bad comes right along and fucks everything up... I don't like it at all... I had a con this weekend... And i didn't enjoy it all that much, which is weird coming from me, because Con's are usually all that I ever want to live for. The people, the feeling of belonging, the games, just. everything about con is so wonderful. But This one just wasn't all that great. I know that some of that is because of the fact that it was a Junior High con, and none of the younger kids take con as seriously as the older kids, but they're always so immature and loud and obnoxious... I dunno, it just really started to get to me... That and sometimes i just don't feel like I belong there, like, my friends go and talk to their friends and leave me sitting alone, and it just makes me feel... worthless i guess. not even that, i dunno. i'm just an attention craving whore... kinda... but like, i dunno... whatever. anyways, at con, there's this guy, and i've been fairly attracted to him for quite a while, and friday night, i wasn't tired, so i wasn't sleeping, and i went and wrote some stuff, drew some pictures, and just, thought... a lot... and April, this totally awesome girl comes and starts talking to me about how she likes said boy. and i'm like "oh shit" 'cause i like him too, and yeah. so i don't say anything, i just listen, and he comes in and he's all like... adorable and tired so the three of us go lay down. ya know, fun stuff like that... and just, various things happen and he ends up kissing me... and april, who was sitting next to us, got up and kinda walked away, and i was so scared that she hated me... so he got up and talked to her, and after me being totally freaked out, i went and talked to them, and she was ok apparently. after telling me that, he blew me a kiss, so i was all, i guess things are cool between us... but he fell asleep, me and april talked more, and fell asleep, yeah... next morning, he didn't talk to me much, but he was making breakfast, so that was ok. then i dunno. we had morning workshops, and he was in mine, and across the room, and kept looking at me, and i'd get eye contact and he'd keep it, and i couldn't look away because i didn't wanna... i guess i didn't want to make him feel.. like i wasn't inetested? i guess... but it was hard to keep eye contact because he was keeping such a striaght face, i dunno. then me and Caitlin, who i love to death, talked in another room, and i dunno.... i was shocked at things she told me... I love her so much... but yeah. i dunno. ..a lot of things happened, and all of that, on top of the past few weeks for me, made me cry. i was jus tsitting there, talking to caitlin and evan, and i just started thinking about how much this con was sucking, and all this... shit that i shouldn't have been thinking about, and ijsut started to cry. everyone prolly thought it was because of the... boy... which was part of it, but not really... then I bonded. With a few people. and i'm telling you. it was so fuckign sweet. then the dance. Bonding, and then dancing, is like... orgasmic. almost literally. er.. yeah. then sleep... after a bit mroe suckyness. and woke up, still sucking. and just... yeah. everything from that point on sucked. i came home and jsut slept. from about 2:30 'till 6. then went to school... Found out that Dillan died.... Everyone was crying. i almost did, but didn't because i didn't want to... or something... i dunno... then, i found out that Alyssa and Joe are dating... so that sucked. then i guess today got a little better, but i dunno. i'm in a generally not happy mood. i almost started crying today in Larry class. Just everything decided to hit me at once... i dunno. i got over it though. I have a soccer game tonight.. should be fun. maybe i'll be able to play. Alyssa and Joe will prolly be getting it on in the bleachers... fuck. I love alyssa, i need to stop bitching... :\... I guess i'm happy for her, she needs it... i guess... then again though, don't I? ... apparently not... what ever. I just wish that that boy would talk to me... ignore what his friends say, and talk to me, he seemed like he wanted to... He made me sit on his lap... made me feel so much better. I just wish that i could talk to him about it... i need his screen name, but forgot to ask him for it... oh well. I can't let myself get obsessed. or whatever. i was probably just a one night stand that he wants to have again... *shrug* i'll get better. i promise. <br /><br />*sigh* con people are so hot... i'm jealous... lol. I need some pics of the hotter people. I got some, but omg... there are so many more worth pictures... er something. today sucked... the past few weeks have sucked.. now that i've gotten that out, i guess i'll get ready for soccer. :)... later. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:82506 2003-11-14T20:47:21Z 2003-11-14T20:47:21Z Postal Service - This Place is a Prison I should really be finishing packing... but I don't really wanna... I have con today, and i'm leaving around 5 to get there. It should be totally sweet. :):) erm... Yeah. Saw Texas chainsaw massicre last night. It wasn't all that freaky... kinda stupid actually.. and when the one chick was running, me and Rikki both started singing the song from Finding nemo "just keep swimming just keep swimming.." but we changed it to "just keep running, just keep running, running, running, what do we do we ruuuuun!" and it amused me... *shrug* this post had no content, and no point. but i get to go to con! <br /><marquee>*dances*</marquee><br /><br />Right. done. later. <br /><br /><br />I want a new journal... anyone know anyone who's willing to give up a code? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:82234 2003-11-12T00:14:07Z 2003-11-12T00:15:52Z AFI - This Time Imperfect [everyone download it!!!] today was alright i guess. Sarah wasn't there, so that kinda sucked, Tess hasn't been there for the past 3-ish school days, so that sucks too... but yeah. Today started out complete and utter shit. Just felt terrible for the most part... and that continued throughout most of the day... I got to speech and i dunno. Guess there's just something about that class, because i felt a little better. Chris's humor i guess. that or i didn't have any time to think about shit, like i've had all day... <br /><br />the thinking helped me a bit... I kinda figured out what all it is that's bothering me... There's the obvious one, that no one gets to know about, then there's the other one that's not so obvious, but just kinda floats there and what not... then there's my sister's car crash... That's really been on my mind a lot recently. How easily i could have lost her... I'm just so glad she's ok and everything... Carol came up to me and talked to me about it... i didn't really want to think about it... but I guess it's ok... then Chris asked about it too, so yeah, maybe i should tell my teachers when something happens to my sisters... heh... maybe this is lame, but if anyone wants to read the article, here it is:<br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><b><i>Note: Sara Sumwinkle is Sarah. They decided to fuck up our name too. see how loved we are?</i></b><br />Five young adults were injured Saturday morning when their 1987 Subaru GL-10 wagon slid on an icy section of Colorado Highway 131 and collided with a tow truck en route to another accident.<br /><br />Only one of the people in the wagon was wearing a seatbelt, according to the Colorado State Patrol.<br /><br />Eric Anderson, 20, of Richmond, Va., was driving the Subaru and suffered the most serious injuries of the group. After being transported to Yampa Valley Medical Center, he was flown to St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction with head and chest injuries, according to the State Patrol.<br /><br />Sara Sumwinkle, 32, was the one wearing her seatbelt, but she still incurred a broken right arm. Matt Butler, 24, and Cameron Billingsly, 22, suffered facial lacerations, and an unnamed 16-year-old girl broke her right wrist.<br /><br />The driver of the tow truck, Kevin Hensen, 22, of Steamboat Springs, was uninjured.<br /><br />The car was traveling north coming into the large horseshoe bend in the highway about one mile north of Oak Creek before 9:30 a.m. Saturday. Hensen was driving south in a Ford F-350 tow truck from Ace Towing when he saw the Subaru coming into his lane.<br /><br />"They were driving way too fast," Hensen said. "I pulled over to the guard rail as far as I could, and I was almost stopped. I was just hoping and praying they would get over."<br /><br />The Subaru did not get over in time and collided with the tow truck squarely, and bounced back eight to 10 feet. Hensen's tow truck moved back only about six inches.<br /><br />"The Subaru was surely driving too fast for the conditions," Colorado State Trooper Chris Tafoya said. Hensen said he believed the car was traveling between 40 and 60 mph when it came around the corner.<br /><br />Both vehicles came to rest on the roadway, blocking both lanes for about three hours, according to a news release.<br /><br />The Subaru was mangled so badly, that firefighters had to use the Jaws of Life and other tools to pry off doors and the roof to get the five passengers out, said Oak Creek Fire and Rescue Chief Chuck Wisecup.<br /><br />Five ambulances -- two from Oak Creek, two from Steamboat and one from Yampa -- responded to the accident, and three transported the injured, Wisecup said. In all, from the Colorado State Patrol, Oak Creek Fire Protection District and ambulance crews, 18 officials were on the scene.<br /><br />"We've had multiple accidents here on this corner, especially in the winter," Wisecup said.<br /><br />The accident is under investigation by the Colorado State Patrol.<br /><br />Several other reports of vehicles sliding off icy roads came in to the Routt County Dispatch Center on Saturday, including a sport utility vehicle that slid down an embankment on Rabbit Ears Pass and a truck and trailer that jackknifed in the roadway. The wreck on Colo.131 was the most serious.<br />the picture that's in the newspaper is kinda... interesting. the car is smashed up real bad and all that... more things that have been bothering me... the last 3 nights, i've had 2 dreams that my grandparents died... the first one, my grandma got in a car crash... go figure... then last night i had a dream that my grandpa was in the mountains with me and my dad and my grandma and he had a seisure or something and fell off the deck of one of the cabins and i dont know if he died, all i know is that i couldn't help at all...and it's been bothering me 'cause neither of my grandparents [on my dad's side] are in all that good of health, and they keep dieing in my dreams.. yeah... And I'm not doing too well with school... my grades are ok-ish, but i'm not doing that well... Although, I'm making friends. For the first time in a while, i had 3 or 4 people say they wanted to do something, and then like... everyone said bye to me.. and that never happens, maybe people were just having a good day though, but i still think i'm making friends. I dunno. Even though today started out like suck. I think things are starting to get better, i know what's wrong, i know what i need to fix, now all i have to do is fix it. not that hard. right? oh. and i need to start running... i REALLY need to get in shape, 'cause i'm starting to feel gross... :) done now...<br /><br />oh. and i stole this from sarah. fill it out if you wish to. not sure who made it, for all i know, it was sarah. so &lt;3 at her:<br /><br /><a name="cutid2"></a>× I ____ Theresa. <br />× Theresa is ____. <br />× If I were alone in a room with Theresa, I would ____. <br />× I think Theresa should ____. <br />× Theresa needs ____. <br />× Theresa will never ____. <br />× I want to _____ Theresa. <br />× Theresa can ____ my _____. <br />× When I think about Theresa, I ____. <br />× Someday Theresa will _____. <br />× Theresa reminds me of _____. <br />× Without Theresa, ____. <br />× Memories of Theresa are ____. <br />× Theresa can be ____. <br />× ____ is how I describe meeting Theresa. <br />× Worst thing about Theresa is ____. <br />× Best thing about Theresa is _____. <br />× Theresa _____.<br />× I read Theresa's journal because _____.<br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:82164 2003-11-11T01:33:59Z 2003-11-11T01:33:59Z FATA - Autumns Monologue god damnit. god damnit. god damnit. god damnit. god damnit. god damnit. god danmit. god damnit. god damnit! I hate people. Why the <b>FUCK</b> not me?! She gets everything. fuck fuck fucking fuck. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:81722 2003-11-10T21:37:26Z 2003-11-10T21:38:54Z Oasis - Cast No Shadow JULY:<br />Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. [although apparently people don't think so...] Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. <s>Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.</s> Guides others physically and mentally.[what?] Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. <s>Hardworking.</s>[depending on what it is...] <s>No difficulties in studying.</s>[can i get a double cross out??] <s>Loves to be alone.</s>[again with the double cross out] Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.<br /><br />other then the 5 or so i crossed out, that's real true. kinda creepy. *shrug* rawr... bored. today was alright... soccer game tonight... hope I don't suck... gunna go do something else now...<br /><br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a>You basically cross out what doesn't apply to you in your month of birth. *shrug*<br /><br />JUNE:<br />Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.<br /><br />JANUARY:<br />Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.<br /><br /><br />FEBRUARY:<br />Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but those not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.<br /><br /><br />MARCH:<br />Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.<br /><br /><br />APRIL:<br />Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their luver can see.<br /><br /><br />MAY:<br />Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.<br /><br /><br />JUNE:<br />Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.<br /><br /><br />JULY:<br />Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.<br /><br /><br />AUGUST:<br />Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.<br /><br /><br />SEPTEMBER:<br />Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.<br /><br /><br />OCTOBER:<br />Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.<br /><br /><br />NOVEMBER:<br />Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.<br /><br /><br />DECEMBER:<br />Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:81655 2003-11-10T16:28:27Z 2003-11-10T16:28:27Z people making tard noises... sarah and i are in the pooter room... not really an point to it, but were here. so yeah. I have play practice tonight. And the a chairopractor appointment to fix my neck and make the headaches go away. then a soccer game. which we will loose. and love. or something. Today's kinda sucking so far... and i have a spanish quiz next period... should prolly be studying. but ya know... uh. yeah. i'm leaving. people are in here now.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:81287 2003-11-09T04:47:01Z 2003-11-09T04:47:01Z Damien Rice - Volcano So rent... Totally fucking sweet. I'd most definatley liked it better had it been the origional cast, but at least i saw it. It was so good. Only one or two things got on my nerves. And other than that... I don't even know. It was so good. La Vie Bohem, my fav. song, was just... amazing. all... happy and great. I dunno. I don't really have anything more to say than it was sweet. I'm sure that if i thought about it, i'd be able to come up with more, but.. it was sweet and that's all i need to say. <br /><br />It's really freekin cold in my house. it was like... 65 when i walked in,and i turned it up to about 70... still getting there. i'm cold... also pretty tired. Dispite getting something like 13 hours of sleep last night. Went to bed around 10:30, didn't get up 'till about 11:30 when the cable guy came over. considering i haven't gotten much sleep, it felt real good, but i'm still exhausted. I'm thinking to just wash my face, brush my teeth, and curl up in bed and fall asleep. maybe add in a few dreams... good ones... yeah. that'd be nice. <br /><br />I had a dream last night that my Grandma died... I cried a lot in the dream... and i woke up and i wasn't crying, but i could feel the sadness still there and then i was back asleep and she was still dead. She called today around 3... I was really glad she did because i was kinda going crazy. *shrug* That's the only dream I can remember right now. I think there were more, but 'meh. <br /><br />I took my dog for a walk today, and when i used to take her, i'd go back to these old abandoned rail cars and sit on top of them, then i got really creeped out of them and stopped going back there. But I went back today, and it was really nice. It's been my 'thinking area' for awhile, and i was nice to be able to go up there again and just sit. Mariah liked it too. Gave her a chance to run around for a while. I love the area up there.. but yeah...<br /><br />My kitty's in my lap looking at me and purring... He keeps making little meow noises asking me to pet him, but i'm typing so i can't... poor kitty. now he's licking my arm and it tickles. a lot. oh god.. He's so cute. I love my kitty. <br /><br />i'm thinking i'm gunna go to bed. I'll talk to ya'll later. ;) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:81097 2003-11-08T17:45:14Z 2003-11-08T17:45:14Z RENT - Disk 1 'cuase i'm sweet ;) RENT TONIGHT!!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:80686 2003-11-08T01:44:37Z 2003-11-08T01:44:37Z Postal Service - The District sleeps alone tonight :\... Friday night, guess where i am. Yup. At home. No one's online, no one's home, and i have absolutley nothing to do. I'm so rbored, and it's only 8:00. I could easily go to sleep. that'd be smart. but i'd rather sit here and complain. *shrug* what else am i good for...<br /><br />Today i was sitting in the big room and i overheard some people talking, not gunna say who, but 'some people' works for me. But i heard my name, and a minute or two later, they were talking about "yeah, she's really annoying. that's why we never talk to her" And i can only assume they were talking about me, mainly 'cause i heard my name, and that group of people never do talk to me. But it kinda bothered me. They've never actually tried to get to know me, and whenever they really hear me talking it's when i've had too much caffiene, and or sugar, so i'm hyper and bouncy. Granted I do talk a lot, and people probably aren't all that interested in whati have to say all the time, but they don't have to go saying i'm annoying when they don't even know me at all.. Do people really just assume people are always the same way and never change? or am i just lucky enough to have people who don't want to get to know me... whatever though... I guess I'll get over it.<br /><br />A lot of things are going wrong right now. Not just in my life, but everywhere. so many people have died, and gotten hurt, so much is happening and it's just... crazy. i don't know why it's affecting me as much as it does, considering i don't know anyone who'se gotten hurt, but it's just making my emotions all crazy. My sister got in a car crash, and she's been in the hospital a lot recently. She's fine, but the fact that she got hurt... i dunno. It's just been making my emotions really crazy. First she goes off and lives in california for about a month without keeping in very good contact with anyone in the family, and that scared the shit out of me, and then she gets in a car crash, and if she hadn't been wearing a seat belt, she'd be gone. I would no longer have a middle sister. It's amazing how fast things like that could happen. One day, someone's there and alive and happy, and the next. they're just gone. anything you had to say to them, any feelings you wanted to share, any arguments you ever had, everything. there's no way to make that go away anymore. you can't talk to the person, you can't see them anymore, and you won't ever be able to hear their voice again. What would my life be like without sarah... God. I don't really even want to think about it, but it's been on my mind every day the past week. if one thing hadnt happened my sister, who i love to death, wouldn't be here anymore. There are so many things i still have to say to her. so many things i've missed in her life and so many things she's missed in mine. i already haven't seen her for a year. what would it be like to never see her again. god. what the hell am i talking about. she's still alive. she's not going to die any time soon. I'll be able to see her, and deal with anything we need to deal with. There's no reason to be sad about this. but i am. i am something.i dont even know what anymore... I'm lonley. i'm unhappy, i'm bored, i'm boring, i'm annoying. i'm everything. i just dont know anymore. <br /><br />...I feel so alone. Everyone around me is so happy. I was watching a few people today at linworth. a few couples. Mallory and Kevin was one of them... I just kinda sat upstairs watching them... They look so happy. well, mallory looked kinda down, but kevinwas happy, and trying to cheer her up. It was really cute, and he said something and she just looked up at him and gave him a hug. and i just wanted to die. I don't think i've ever experienced anything that good. They're so happy together, and just so... I don't even know. they look so.. perfect. not even that. I just don't know. but i look around, and i see all these happy couples, and all these people hanging out with friends. friends that really care, friends they've had for a while and know they can trust. they're all sitting there laughing and smiling and always know what to say to make eachother smile. I can't even do that anymore. I've gotten really good at saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I never know what to say around people i don't know much about, and i just.. freeze up and can't function correctly. I start to babble about stupid shit that they don't care about, and they start to think i'm either annoying or crazy. They might say something I know stuff about, then i'll be like "hey! i actually know something about this" and start to babble on about that. it's just... i never know what to say anymore. I never had this problem before. I've just gotten to the point that i don't talk unless they start to. then i just listen until i'm asked something or i can add something in, and once i've added it, recently i've just stopped talking after that. giving off the impression i'm real quiet. which i'm really not when i have something to say. i dont know. i'm really going on about nothing here. well, this is something, but... i dunno. i feel like i'm repeating myself over and over again... but it'll be alright. I dunno. I guess what i'm saying right now is that i want friends. people that i can talk to any time, people that will call me, people thati can hang out with. hell, i might even want to try a relationship sooner or later. I personally think i'm ready, may not be, but i dunno. too bad the people i have in mind either don't talk to me, or aren't interested in me. or i couldn't see myself in a relationship with them. or something.. bleh. now i'm going on about relationships. yay. i think i'm done for now. i have more to go on about, but this entry is fairly long and i don't think i need to go on anymore... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:80412 2003-11-06T22:08:52Z 2003-11-06T22:08:52Z FATA - Lilacs and Lolita had a decent day. nothing all too interesting, but it was decent. people still confuse me, friends and guys alike, and all that stuff... Went to scotties after school with Grant, Collin, and Kat. It was alright. Seeing Kat again was kinda interesting. She's not all that bad anymore... Not that i ever had any serious problems with her, i just didn't like her 'cause all my friends hated her, so i never heard anything good about her. But personally i've never been too bad with her. Collin, if that's even how you spell it, is really funny. kept me laughing for a good 30 minutes. Grant was just Grant... and yeah. It was weird, like, right as i walked into my house, my head started to hurt like crazy. still does, and it;s making it hard to type because my vision's all crazy, but still. Brandyn's coming over soon to let me copy some CD's for Sarah. should be interesting. I'm really working on this whole friend thing... Talking to people more, i guess being more assertive, watching what i say.. I dunno. my head really hurts... i'ma go lay down... i'll prolly update later.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:80284 2003-11-04T02:25:32Z 2003-11-04T02:25:32Z nuthin so we had our first soccer game... we lost. something like... 20 thousand to... 3. *nods* we're so good. I love the team, well, most of them. and it was a lot of fun. I don't think i've had that much fun playing soccer since i was like... 6... by the end of the game, at least 18 players from our team were on the feild, and only loike... 6 of theirs. it was. so much fun. i dunno. other than that, today was boring as hell. that's a lie... but still. don't want to get into details, i have homework, and it's 9:23. so yeah. later. :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:80119 2003-11-03T02:40:31Z 2003-11-03T02:40:31Z From Autumn to Ashes - Autumns Monologue So as of now, i'm really confused... everything, boys, friends, family, me. it's all just really confusing me...<br /><br />People are really fucking hypocritical too, and it's pissing me off. They say one thing, and they do the complete opposite. "oh, i'm so mad at so-and-so, i'm just gunna hang out with them all day now." it's fucking bullshit. I'm getting so sick of all of it. just make up your fucking mind. or stop complaining to me... ya know, either one...<br /><br />Last night at hagpie, a few things happened... One made me uber happy, one made me... not so happy, and another was just cute. The one that made me happy happened all at the end of the dance, so it was useless until then, the one that made me not so happy was all throughout the night, and the cute one, the only one i'm actually gunna elaborate on, was also more or less at the end. So let's just say this: the beginning of the dance sucked ass, and then it got better. uh. yeah. so, the foreign exchange students at LW are so adorable. SO i danced last night. I actually danced. well... tried... not much movement i can do in a corset, so i 'danced' and got tired of it, so i sat on the lost and found box and the Pen and Robert (exchange students from Hong Kong and Japan) came over and sat on either side of me and robert was all like "why are you sitting here all alone??" and i was all like "i got tired of dancing" he was like "but you looked lonley. what's wrong??" <br />me: nothing, i just got tired<br />Robert: but you didn't look happy. you can't just be tired. something's wrong. what is it?<br />me: *laughs* no, really, i just got tired! <br />robert: *looks at me skeptically* alright.. i guess i'll believe you<br />then he went on talking about random things and how he though that the group of girls were talking about me, then people came over and made him dance, and i went out and danced too, and then brian came out and told us we had 3 songs left and yeah. last one was slow. fun stuff. all in all, i guess last night was good. some things could have gone beter, and i wouldn't have minded missing out on a few things ,<s>but i'll get over it. </s><br /><br />My dads been gone a lot recently... It's actually starting to bother me... not a lot, but a little bit. I'm just tired of always coming home to an empty house. then getting online and no one talking to me. then just sitting. I guess i like it better without my dad here, but it'd be nice to see someone sometimes... i hate being alone and i always am... and yeah. being alone isn't helping my social skills much... alright. i guess i'm done complaining for now... later. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:79619 2003-11-02T18:19:39Z 2003-11-02T18:19:39Z nothing HAGPIE last night. Dont really wanna get into details, it was overall pretty fun. Some parts sucked, but that's ok. Sarah complained a lot about how no one seemed happy to see her, which was totally not true, they all just had things going on. I dunno. She really ruined a lot of it for me... I wanted to dace, or something, and she didn't so i went along with her so i wouldn't leave her alone. *shrug* I guess it was fun. I got to see her, made me pretty happy. Hagpie got a lot better though after she left. dunno. guess it'll be alright. soccer tonight. nothing more to say really... later urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:79377 2003-10-31T03:47:01Z 2003-10-31T03:47:01Z SOAD - Suite-Pee <center><table border="0" style="border: 1px black solid; width: 90%"><tr><th><a href="http://www.corknut.org/toys/trickortreat/">My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul</a></th></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px black dotted">lil_duck_bunny goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as A big walnut.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/broken_cherub/">broken_cherub</a> gives you 18 teal pineapple-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/feverishdeath/">feverishdeath</a> gives you 17 tan blueberry-flavoured gummy bats.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/grrllauren/">grrllauren</a> tricks you! You get a pencil.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/ifyouwish/">ifyouwish</a> gives you 1 red watermelon-flavoured gummy fruits.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/lylly/">lylly</a> tricks you! You get a used tissue.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/princessofmrkwd/">princessofmrkwd</a> gives you 12 pink orange-flavoured gummies.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/retromex5/">retromex5</a> gives you 11 red-orange licorice-flavoured wafers.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/shimmercat2/">shimmercat2</a> gives you 3 mauve coconut-flavoured miniature candy bars.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/starsnake/">starsnake</a> gives you 18 light green grapefruit-flavoured gummy bats.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/thousand_cries/">thousand_cries</a> gives you 13 mauve pineapple-flavoured wafers.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px black dotted">lil_duck_bunny ends up with 93 pieces of candy, a pencil, and a used tissue.</td></tr><form action="http://www.corknut.org/toys/trickortreat/index.cgi" method="post"><tr><td style="text-align: center">Go trick-or-treating! Username: <input type="text" name="username" size="10"><input type="submit" value="Let&#39;s Go!"></td></tr></form><tr><td style="font-size: xx-small; text-align: center">Another fun meme brought to you by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/rfreebern/"><b>rfreebern</b></a>.</td></tr></table></center><br /><br />Went trick-or-treating tonight. had quite a lot of fun. Got lotsa candy, yeah. nothing too interesting today, play practice was pointless, but i guess fun. *shrug* uh.. hopeing that tess will remember to bring the things she told me she'd bring tomorrow... i really need them... *sigh* i need to talk to brandyn.. Epic's being a sweety. she helped me out alot tonight. i dunno why, but i was kinda sad, and she said something and made me feel a lot better... *huggles my epic* :) more candy... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:78926 2003-10-28T21:52:13Z 2003-10-28T21:52:13Z fuck... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:78603 2003-10-27T22:32:13Z 2003-10-27T22:32:13Z Live - Century hahahahaha. And it's funny 'cause I kinda hate you!<br /><br />Sarah's starting to talk to me again. :) Not that she ever really stopped. well, she did, but i guess it was partially my fault. Kinda seemed like she was real mad at me whenever i talked to her, and she started talking to me again, so that made me happy. I missed talking to her. :)<br /><br />Sarah[hodge] is coming to HAGPIE... !!!! *dances* I get to see my OTHER sarah!!!!!!! wooo...<br /><br />I miss con...<br /><br />according to Grant, Weston may be coming to HAGPIE too. which would be sweet. Weston's pretty damn awesome. <br /><br />This entry is more or less pointless...<br /><br />I really like Live... <br /><br />I just ate a roll of cookie dough. feel kinda shitty. kinda wanna throw up... *shrug* i'll get over it...<br /><br />I need to start running again... soccer kinda stopped... the practices at least... games are every monday.. fun stuff. i think...<br /><br />someone talked to me today and it made me happy. still think he hates me though. not hate.. but just not like... kinda really wish he did... *shrug* never seem to get what i want. i'll get over it..<br /><br />i wanna play final fantasy... think i'll go do that now...<br /><br />I'll stop talking. :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:78555 2003-10-27T01:33:11Z 2003-10-27T01:33:11Z 3EB - Chrystal Baller So i was at youth group tonight, and we were doing our closing circle, and a couple people were talking about how bad some things in their life were going, and it occured to me how many people can seem so happy on the outside, but be so unhappy on the inside. So many people in my youth group seem so happy when we're just hanging out and talking, but when we get into deeper things, they seem so troubled. I'm not sure why that suprised me so much, but it did. <br /><br />another thing i noticed, was that a lot of the people are going through a lot of the same things i am. In relationships, friendships, and school. Even family things. so many people have the same problems or issues as me. as i was listening to some of their things, i started to feel a little better. Kinda like I'm not the only one experiencing things. I'm not the only one with these problems, and i know that if i ever need someone to talk to, i can go to one of them and they'll understand how i feel. <br /><br />I dunno. those are my thoughts as of now. I'll prolly update later... maybe not... it all depends on what happens from now 'till i go to sleep... *shrug* maybe i'll actually have something to write in my RL journal tonight instead of just a checkin... *shrug* urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:78285 2003-10-26T02:58:44Z 2003-10-26T02:58:44Z Radiohead - Backdrifts So i'm really wishing i wasn't here right now. I usually only don't want to be home when my dad's home, but right now, i'm home alone, and i just <b>feel</b> alone... I hate this... it's been a while since i've really felt alone. Recently i've just always had someone here to make me feel like i wasn't, and now it's just.. i feel so empty. It feels like somethings wrong. and not even with me, just something is wrong. A lot of things that happened this week probably shouldnt have. I'm thinking of one in particular, that just... wasn't a good idea. it made me happy at the time, but i dunno. I just shouldn't have happened... I can't get it out of my head. what am i saying... i don't even know. <br /><br />i've gotten really weird around people... like, at first i was just scared to talk to them, but now it's more of an emotion thing. i've been pretty much forcing myself to laugh with everyone. i don't think that i've laughed. like, really laughed, for a long time. there are 3 or 4 people that i have laughed with, but other than them, it's pretty much all been forced, or just not real. my emotions just haven't really been there. for example, at con, this kid kissed me, and i kissed back, simply because i didn't want to make him feel bad. the next day, he looked sad that i wasn't talking to him a lot. Usually in that situation, i would feel really bad, and guilty. but i didn't care. i didn't care at all. no guilt, no happy feeling ness that i'd kissed someone, nothing. i just wasn't happy. at all. i wasn't sad, at all. i wasn't anything. i was just there. i've just been forcing emotions with everything. ok. not everything. the campfire at camp not-christian, that wasn't forced. writing the script with nick on friday during speech, that wasn't forced, and a few other things. but other than that, it's pretty much all forced, or fake, or something. it's gotten to the point where i don't really even know if it's real or not, and it's bothering me... i'm rambeling... i appologise..<br /><br />back to the feeling alone part... Everyone seems so happy. everyone's making new friends, everyone's hooking up with someone, and that someone's taking all their time, leaving me in the dust. I really miss being in a relationship, but i don't think i'd do very well at maintaining one. Mainly because of the lack of emotion thing, and the fact that i'm really only interested in a few people, one of whome doesn't talk to me and gives me mixed signals, so i have no idea if he likes me in any way... I dunno though... I wouldn't mind trying out a relationship with someone other than Joe. maybe not a serious one, but one that could help me finally get over him. one that could make me feel like i was cared about by someone at least... i just want someone to make me feel special. someone who'd make me laugh, a real laugh, and someone who i could just talk to. i've completley lost most people i know like that. and i'm rambeling again. *sigh*<br /><br />Next year, i want to teach a class at linworth... There's a book i'm reading, called Sophie's World... It's a history on philosophy... and it's been on my mind constantly, ever since i started it. it asks really ineresting things, like "who are you" and now who are you like, my name is theresa, but who are you like... who are you. that makes no sense.... i dunno how really to put it. but like... if you were given a different name at birth, would you still be you? like, for instance, if my name was Rebecca. If at birth, i was given the name rabecca, would i still be who i am? saying "hi, my name is Rabecca Zumwinkel"... that just doesn't sound right. i dunno... just... would i still be me if i wasn't theresa? anyways, i was reading it last night, and i just started thinking, what if i taught a class on it next year? I have a few ideas on what i'd do for lessons, and homework, and tests/quizzes, but i don't knwo if it would interest anyone... Sure i'd need to work on it a little, but does anyone think that teaching a Philosophy class would be interesting? would anyone go to a class if i taught it? or am i just completley crazy? well, whatever.. give opinions if anyone reads this... i'd be interested to see what people think about it. if any of what i wrote made any sense... well, whatever... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:77920 2003-10-25T16:26:37Z 2003-10-25T16:26:37Z Dane Cook <a name="cutid1"></a><img src="http://images.quizilla.com/D/donarepa/1065683628_nicornquiz.JPG" border="0" alt="uni"><br>You are Form 3, <b>Unicorn</b>: The Innocent.<br /><br /><i>"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to<br>go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice<br>given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went<br>inside and bled silver blood.. For her<br>misdeed, the world knew evil."</i><br /><br />Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve<br>(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).<br />The Unicorn is associated with the concept of<br>innocence, the number 3, and the element of<br>water.<br />Her sign is the twilight sun.<br /><br />As a member of Form 3, you are a curious<br>individual. You are drawn to new things and<br>become fascinated with ideas you've never come<br>in contact with before. Some people may say<br>you are too nosey, but it's only because you<br>like getting to the bottom of things and<br>solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to<br>have because they are inquisitive.<br /><br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/donarepa/quizzes/Which%20Mythological%20Form%20Are%20You%3F/"> <font size="-1">Which Mythological Form Are You?</font></a><br> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font><br /><br /><img src="http://images.quizilla.com/V/vinacross/1045377004_isStuffSad.gif" border="0" alt="Sad"><br>You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly<br>everything and is constantly wondering about<br>what could have been.You're not happy with your<br>situation and usually blame yourself because of<br>the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.<br /><br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/vinacross/quizzes/What%20Kind%20of%20Smile%20are%20You%3F/"> <font size="-1">What Kind of Smile are You?</font></a><br> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font><br /><br /><img src="http://images.quizilla.com/J/jsimner/1062440431_ten.jpg" border="0" alt="My inner child is ten years old today"><br><p><b>My inner child is ten years old!</b><br /><p><br />The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether<br>I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost<br>in a good book, or giggling with my best<br>friend, I live in a world apart, one full of<br>adventure and wonder and other stuff adults<br>don't understand.<br /><br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/jsimner/quizzes/How%20Old%20is%20Your%20Inner%20Child%3F/"> <font size="-1">How Old is Your Inner Child?</font></a><br> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:77577 2003-10-24T01:37:20Z 2003-10-24T01:37:20Z fucking tv... i want some music... Today was fun. Nothing too interesting. took a test in Science... dunno how i did... know i didn't fail it... uh.. yeah. I dunno... Had a concert.. various things happened before i left, they really confused me...uh... we did fairly well at the concert, sang well, sounded good, whatever. I had fun. this is getting kinda weird... i've more or less stopped feeling things... emotionally at least... it happened last year.. I guess that last year i just stopped caring... but i had reasons then... now, i just don't feel certain things... there are emotions that i seem to be lacking. not always, but most of the time, i just don't care about much. i dont even know what i'm babbeling about... but it's trash night... so i should go take that out... fun stuff. *rolls eyes* i guess being sarcastic works. yay for that... my dads being kinda a dick... so i'll go do whatever he just asked too... fun stuff... later. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:77561 2003-10-22T02:00:58Z 2003-10-22T02:00:58Z something on TV that sucks. so to put this shortly, because i have little time, today sucked ass. I got a saturday school, had a massive headache, and things just kinda sucked all day. A whole lota things that made me feel weird, movie in US sucked, and i felt like i was gunna throw up for half of it. things just aren't going as well as i wish they were, and my dad's pissed at me, and i don't know why. I asked him a question and he got pissy... I don't want to push anything, so i'm going to bed early... Aubrey had a suprise party. that was a lot of fun. we hung out, then watched ALIAS. good show... but yeah. I'm real glad joe didn't go.. I don't know what i would have done having to watch him and ellie again... today was bad enough as it is... that and i can't find my fucking watch, so i don't know what time it is... i'm going to bed... tomorrow will be better. A block's free... Maybe i'll have something to look forward to? *crosses fingers* urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:77270 2003-10-20T01:07:56Z 2003-10-20T01:10:04Z Screaming Emo - Boyfriend Clone LJ cut... too long... ignoring all spelling/punctuation/everything mistakes. i'm tired as hell.. and yes. hell is tired. <br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a> alright. so con was sweet. I'm so tired right now... i got something like 10 hours of sleep total in the past 4 days... thursday i got something like 7 hours, and that was at camp, and i already wrote about that, so yeah. Con was a lot of fun. Friday, B gets here and takes me and evan to church so we can get in the van to leave for pittsburgh and what not. Car ride there is fun, Ramona annoyed the hell out of me.. she talks a lot and she wouldn't stop bitching about the music we were listening to... *shrug* we got to First church, and signed in and wandered. Only 10 minutes, so i didn't get to see as many people as i wanted, but that's ok. we had opening circle, got the scedual figured out, and then went to Touch Groups. I'll say it now.. my touch group rocked. My co-leader Jared... er... i think that's his name... it starts with a j... i know that for sure. but yeah. He's really funny, and pretty cute too *wink* ha. no.. anyways, after touch groups... i don't even remember what we did... we had worship... uh.. yeah. Got to see Alex [Guy from SI] which was cool, uh... yeah. I think everyone went to sleep then.. it was prolly something like 12:30... so Weston gets a game or Maow.. er however it's spelled going. It's a card game, and the only rule you're allowed to know at the beginning is that when you lay a card down, you can either lay a card of the same number, or sute on top of the last played card. there ARE other rules, but you aren't told them. it's great because every time you break a rule, you get a card added to your hand, so you from the mistakes that you/other people make and get a card for, you have to figure out what the other rules are. It's the greatest game, and i already kinda knew how to play, so i wasn't doing TOO bad. But some of the people had no clue. it ws so funny watching them mess up and get cards, and then say something like "fuck!" and get a card for talking. made me happy. :) whoever wins gets to make up a rule for the next hand. Weston made the rule that when someone give you a penalty card, you have to say "thank you mother fucker" and they have to respond with "your welsome bitch". so many people got confused from that. made me laugh so hard. then B won, and him and weston made 2 new rules, which just happened to be made for the same card. it was crazy. i loved it. so by the time we finished our prolly 7 games of mow, it's like... 3 am. and a bunch of people were tired, so they went to bed, and me and... i don't even remember his name... jesus. lol... anyways, we start throwing and apple around, and it keep dropping it and sll this other stuff, and it's great, and i threw it really hard and like... 5 feet away from his feet it explodes. like just completley. we just cracked up and people walked in asking what was wrong and neither of us could say it so we just pointed at the apple bits and everyone looked at us... but yeah. so around 4:45 i get REALLY tired [the coffee ran out...]so i lay down on the bench thingy in the room we were in... he gets his sleeping bag and pillow and i tried to get mine, but brandyn had taken it, so i didn't get to use it... bastards... so after about 10 minutes just sitting there we go into the room and just lay there, and i stole his sleeping bag and blanket... and he ended up getting in with me... it was interesting.. uh yeah. so we didn't fall asleep 'till about 6:45, and wakeup is at 8... so yeah. woke up. wasn't tired at all it was great. i had more energy than i'd had on thursday, so yeah. we had opening circle, and went to our activity groups. I went to B's music work shop... it was fun. got to sit around listening to music for an hour. then we went to touch groups again and just kinda sat there and talked for a while, then lunch. which looked gross, kinda like breakfast, so i just had a few more cups of coffee... which tasted like shit. but it kept me awake, so it was ok. then we had out second activity thingy and i went into the room that had The Breakfast Club playing, and fell asleep for an hour, i think. then woke up and watched the end of the movie, and then tie-dyed a shirt. which was really fun. then we all just kinda did various other things, i don't even remember what, but they were fun, so yeah. dinner, also looked gross, so didn't eat that, more coffee. and a cookie. had a few cookies. yay! uh... after dinner, we all sat around for a while just talking, playing games, whatever, and then we had the talent show. not gunna get into detail about that, but it was REALLY good. Screaming Emo played, [B's band] and they played the Boyfriend Clone song [acoustic, which rocked my socks], which Evan wrote about me and joe, and i love the song to death. i was sitting next to caitlin, and the song ends with the line "then you'll fall and be drowning forever" and i almost started crying, 'cause shit was getting to me, but caitlin gives me a hug and said "I'll be your life boat t-ray" and i dunno. it was so sweet. it sounds kinda... cheesey i guess, but it made me feel so good and happy. uh. after the talent show, we had worship, and it was a really good worship. made me feel pretty good. we had to walk up the stairs and through the hall with our eyes closed, and people were standing in 2 lines making an isle type thing, and guiding up through it and into the room, and I was one of the last people to go in, and i got a lot of hugs, and hand squeezes, and stuff like that. a few people smacked my ass, but that's ok. lol. worship its self was good. the topic was something along the lines of 'something big you're trying to overcome' and yeah. then we had the dance, and i wasn't in a dancing mood AT ALL. so i only danced to a few songs, the rest of the time was spent wandering around talking to people. fun stuff. so after the dance, which ended at 4, i'm really tired, but Weston, Jared[i think] and Joe are planning to start a game of Silent Football. so we recrute a few people and start a game. I almost fell asleep 3 or 4 times because i wasn't doing much of anything. then Charlie became dictator, and tried to kill me. I love charlie. lol. one of the rules of SFB is that you aren't allowed to talk to anyone who isn't sitting in the circle and playing the game. April knows this, so she starts sitting on people, and grabbing at people and all this shit, and we got awarded points if we moved her or did anything like smack her away or anything. Weston , who was the dictator, let us all beat her... kinda. she got back at us though.. took pots from the kitchen and walked around with 3 or 4 other people banging them and making a hell-a-lot of noise. fun stuff. we ended the game about 5:30 and i went to sleeeeeeep. until 7:30 when we had to wake up and clean. woke up, cleaned kinda, sat around and talked to people, wishinsg i was asleep, and then we had closing circle and then had the hugapiller. i got huuuuugs! :) made me happy. then we drove home and i got i think 3 hours of sleep in the car, then 30 minutes when i got home, then went to James's birthday thing, then came home. and yeah. I'm def. planning on sleep right now. I'm so exhausted. so yeah. school tomorrow.. and OMG!!! it's an orange day!!!!!!!!!!! I have A free!!! that totally made today better.. if that's possible! uh... yeah. sleep now.<br /><br />lyrics to Boyfriend clone, 'cause everyone needs to love this song:<br /><br />"Boyfriend Clone"<br />He floods your senses like the dull afternoon<br />But you'll never be the couple in the moon<br />Because Fate's hand is not the same<br />And he'll be the ghost walking in the hall<br />His appirition won't catch you when you fall<br />Because he's only part of a game<br />And you feel like the roof will collapse<br />Suddenly his memory will start to lapse<br />And he'll stare blankly at your tears<br />Scared of teh dark and scared of the light<br />He might protecct you throughout the night<br />Or maybe he'll let you fend off your fears<br />I guess it's no place of mine<br />All that's due, in due time<br />But I guess that's just a saying<br />And if he even looks at you<br />You won't remember what to do<br />It's been to long with you playing<br />And I have to sit and hear you moan<br />Hurt by a boyfriend clone<br />it's almost like you're not together<br />But you'll fall for him again<br />he'll jump in when you can't swim<br />Then you'll fall and be drowning forever.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:77042 2003-10-17T16:14:36Z 2003-10-17T16:16:17Z Maroon 5 - Sweetest Goodbye gunna put this in a LJ cut so it doesn't seem as long as it most likely will be... <br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a> so yeah. This year was most likley 10 times better than last year. We got there and ate, and everything was going fine, my table group was cool, kept me amused and everything, and then we did the activities. I had a lot of fun doing them, and all that jazz, Robert [male german foreign exchange student] was really cool, and he kept talking to me and telling me he'd beat me at something in the activities we did, and every one that was some form of competition, i won, well...beat him at least, so it amused me, and yeah. then we did our little hour long activities, and the first one i did was making friendship bracelets. Learned a few new ways to make one, and had a lot of fun, then me and Tess went to the Knitting one, and i finally learned how to knit. It's a lot of fun... made me happy. then we did finger painting. SO MUCH FUN!!!!! we painted eachother... and yeah. I love finger painting, made me feel young again, and that was cool, so i liked it. :) Tess's pants look sweet now because of all the hand prints on them. the fingerpaingint thing got out like... and hour earlier than it was supposed to, so we wandered for a while. don't really remember what all we did, but yeah. we ended up going back to the dining hall at about 5:30 or something to sit and talk, and i knitted. a lot. i completley zoned out and concentrated on it. it was interesting.. people were making fun of me too... :( but then at about 7:15, dinner started, and i'd been knitting for over 2 hours. it was sweet. after dinner we had the talent show, which was uber fun. People eating sticks of butter, singing, guitar playing, stuff like that. Although tess hadn't eatin anything all day, so she was real pale and kinda scaring me, so after the talent show, we went to the bonfire, but she was all shaking and stuff, so i had to more or less carry her to the dining hall and force her to eat food. Which she did. And after that, we went back to the fire, and guess who i saw!!! Joe. holding ellie. and i just kinda stood there for maybe a minute just watching them and all the sudden i started crying... it was really weird... i mean, i know why i started crying, but it was like... feeling fine, fine, fine, sobbing... all within prolly a 10 second time span, and so i went to the edge of the woods and just colappsed more or less.. i couldn't stand to see them at all and it felt like something had just ripped my heart in 5 million peices, and it hurt... and tess came over and hugged me, and told me everything was ok, and she understood, and just tried to make me feel better... and we walked to one of the cabins and i sat down, and tracy gave me a hug, and i started to feel better, and so we went back to the fire and yeah. jason was cold, and wasn't doing too well... he really wanted to be home, and he was cold, so i gave him a hug and my coat and we started talking a bit, and i looked across the fire trying to find sarah, who i hadn't really talked to for a while, and saw joe and ellie again, and i started crying again, and jason gave me a hug, completley oblivious to what had just happened, and then i went to sit with tess under the proch thingy of the cabin, and listen to joe Mcbroom and various other people banging peices of wood together. Sounded really cool, made me feel better. i dunno how long i sat there, but we kept moving around that area and finally went into the food hall place and i talked to tess and grant and Wayne comes over. god. that man is so awesome. he came over and sat down he was like "so how are you doing theresa?" and i was like "pretty shitty actuially..." he was like "why's that?"<br />me: "boys"<br />wayne: "linworth students by any chance?"<br />me" how'd you guess??"<br />wayne: "which one?"<br />me: "well he's sitting 2 tables down..."<br />wayne: "one of the trouble brothers?"<br />me: *blank stare*<br />wayne: "Nick and Jim?"<br />me: "no..."<br />wayne: "well that leaves Joe Fusco..."<br />me: "yup"<br />wayne: [big long thing about how most guys maturity levels are about 2 years younger than most girls, and he started listing off various guys, and their maturity age, amusing the hell out of me, and he talked about the various things that students parents wouildn't want him telling their kids that he tells anyways, and all this other stuff, and i kept laughing and yeah]<br />me: "so what does this have anything to do with joe?"<br />wayne: "well, [lots of big words that i didn't understand at all, partially from lack of sleep, and partially because they were REALLY big...]"<br />me: *blank stare*<br />wayne: "in other words, don't let it get to you too much... Joe's an ass hole"<br />I just started cracking up. i was like "wayne, have i ever told you that you are a brilliant brilliant man" he just smiled. oh god. i couldn't stop laughing. he totally made my day. and then Joe Mcbroom came in and started talking to me and tess, and gave me marshmellows telling me to calm down because if i'd been fidgeting anymore i'd be having a seisure.. and i kept laughting, and then i went outside with everyone and talked to grant, tess, and joe, and then went to my cabin. and stayed up talking.... this morning was pretty boring, but fun anyways,Joe and ellie were still all over eachother, and it kinda bothered me. but i guess i'll get over it... I have a lot to look forward to. not sure what, but something. and i get to go to con at 6. i can't wait... I get to see EVERYONE! con con con con!! *does the happy con dance* but i need to shower, so i'm gunna go do that... <br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:lil_duck_bunny:76553 2003-10-15T21:20:38Z 2003-10-15T21:20:38Z Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved today was fun, but i'm still in a pretty shitty mood... Kinda pissing me off. I think that all of 2 things happened that were even remotley bad, yet i stll kinda wanna punch someone in the face. That and this <b>*fucking*</b> headache won't go away. It's been here since last friday, and every so often it'll calm down for a bit, but it just comes back in about 15 minutes... and it kills. Gunna pester my dad into letting me get some sinus headache shit tonight, because I'm not going to Camp Cristian tomorrow like this. right now i kinda wanna beat myself into unconciousness... sleep isnt coming, and that would probably be the next best thing... <br /><br />life's kinda screwy latley... I've been in a real good mood, and been having real good days, but i'm still not in a very good mood. it's like, what the hell. i'm gunna go do something else now. the pooter's pissing me off. later.